Defend your love: Be Alert of Preference Reversal

Man love to talk about their dates: “she is gorgeous”, “She cooked a delicious meal for my birthday!”, “and She is ‘wild’”. Every time, they describe their dates, some new criteria to evaluate a date has emerge. These criteria include such being good at cooking, having a good sexual performance etc. Every time, they talk about their dates, in every man’s mind, he is comparing his date with others dates using these new criterion. These new evaluation is not may not always be favorite to you because there can be a preference reversal.

Preference reversal was first found in psychology and it is used to challenge the existing economic theory about the stableness of people’s preference. This theory shows that preferences for choice A are shifted after being juxtaposed with B because B has introduced a new criterion that the evaluator fail to consider when judging A alone.

Anyways, what matters to us is how it works in dating context. To put it in simply language, it means when thinking about your merit individually such as attractiveness; your William will think you are the best in his heart. However, when accidentally comparing you with his friends’ dates or even some other women, he will find that other merits you do not have such as being good at cooking are also very important. Then, you are devaluated in his minds. Next time when he meets someone who can cook well and is no less attractive than you are, he will prefer this woman instead of you. Though he may not date her soon, your status in his mind has been lowered.

How to solve the problem? There are two approaches: go with the flow and meet the new criterion, or take control and introduce new criterion

1 .Try to meet the new criterion

Suppose that he found being good at cooking is a merit that a date should have but you do not. Learn to cook and let time know that you are trying to improve. It is simple but tiresome.

 2. Introduce another criterion

If you are an independent woman and do not what to make a change for him, you can show him your merit that other woman do not have and win him back. Maybe, you can play violin. At the beginning, he does not realize this merit but you can show him and compare yourself with other woman who cannot play violin but can cook. Proving that knowing to play violin is more important than being able to make a delicious cake. By introducing another criterion, in this case, ability to play violin, you can win an extra credit and improve your status.

Remember, you are the best. What you only need is a little tactic to show it.

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